Everyone should have a code to live by. If you stand for nothing, then you'll fall for anything.
Personal growth is a you-driven evolution. This is how I did it; you can reverse engineer it and improve it.
Crafting A Personal Code
The last time I searched my soul, intending to change for the better, was enlightening, but poorly executed. I had the right idea; I was just going in the wrong direction. It was a matter of what I had and how to make it fit.
This time, I went for top-down planning, having everything fit under an easily remembered Personal Motto and Mission Statement, with additions from last time.
First, I needed a way to deal with those around me and with myself, followed by a communication method and principle to deal with others and set personal boundaries. I am introverted, so my social skills are rusty enough that I have to work actively at them.
What's your personal motto?
Let's go into the first four levels, starting with a motto I came to believe in and live by.
"Rudeness is weak man's imitation of strength." Eric Hoffer
It is the overarching way I want to deal with people; we do not have to use bravado or verbally or physically mistreat anyone to show how tough we are. That is not being tough; that is an insecure bully.
This was important for me because I was a jerk.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it...
Then, there is the Mission Statement, which I filter all my decisions to ensure I stay on course. If it detracts from it, then the answer is no.
"To love, care for and protect my family and those under my wing, helping those I can with whatever I have."
It is shorter and written in order of importance: My wife Casey, my kids, my chosen family, and those around me with a limit to my aid. If you stretch yourself too thin, you will not be helpful to anyone.
Personal Philosophy
I added personal philosophy, dealing with myself, and how to be in the world. I chose pieces of Roman Stoicism after using its principles to deal with a tragedy that broke me.
After reading A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy and The Virtues of Captain America: Modern-Day Lessons on Character from a World War II Superhero, it blended with virtue ethics and deontology.
I distilled what I could absorb and put it to use. The Stoic philosophy has methods to minimize all my negative tendencies so I can focus on being the best person I can be.
The last part I will touch on is linked to the previous one, except with a focus on interpersonal relationships. Conflict Communications and The Secret Blend taught me people skills, blended with Stoic principles to calm the limbic system.
So that is the first half; the second deals with my problems living up to my principles.
You have reached the paywall. Further down we address ethics, principles, deontology, and executive functions.
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