Previously:
July
We moved out of our home and in with his family, where I spent a lot of time sitting in our godson’s favorite spot on the loveseat. We just could not stand being in our house. Every time we were in there, it left us practically shaking. During that time, we prepared for his memorial while surrounded by an army of friends and family.
Then it arrived, complete with security to keep the news media away since they staked out the house two days earlier. It seemed we were living under a microscope for a while. I saw a bit of the power of forgiveness from a few, though honestly, I would not have blamed anyone for swinging at me. My mind filled with thoughts of people coming for me in misguided vengeance, which left me more than a little paranoid.
When I was back at the house, I retreated into the solace of habit, mainly coffee and books. Anything to take my mind off it all. I am still not sure what was happening in my head, even at the time …
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