Mindset: When to Intervene to Protect Your Loved Ones
A bowling alley experience that highlights the importance of being prepared for unexpected situations.
There are times to be nice and times not to be. A while back, I was in a situation with friends at a bowling alley. Watch for the teaching moments.
Driving to the bowling alley, I checked the area out. It didn’t look sketchy. You never know what the night will bring.
With that in mind, bring what you are trained on and might need if anything goes south. Any time I know there’s a chance I can’t see, I have a light. I was not counting the cell phone. Your EDC or everyday carry.
I’m dressed in regular jeans and a slightly baggy shirt my wife, Casey, gave me that said Dad—open flannel shirt. I was blending in.
This fact will come into play later.
My son bowled a little with the kids. He thought it was cool but quit pretty fast.
He then discovered and explored the arcade. We camped out there. Toddlers love blinking lights.
By then, another of the little kids in the group was in the arcade with Casey and our kids.
Later, shiftier-looking people start coming in.
Marc MacYoung calls this “shift-change.” When the predators hit the clock. I’m already marking them and the guys that would be assets. Usually, dad’s themselves.
Most of the ones I marked were there to have a good time with their ladies. Groups of young men alone are the ones to keep an eye on.
I watched this fat guy (F.G.) walk in and look at the little girl with us. She was by a gumball machine. Then he glanced at us.
That didn’t sit right with me. Listen to your gut. Even if you’re questioning it after the fact.
F.G. went into the bowling alley and then circled back. He then stood there staring at the four-year-old.
I told Casey to watch our kids. That caught his attention, and he looked at me.
The werewolf is staring at him. Target lock.
He leaves the vicinity.
Was it rude for me to stare at him? Maybe, but like a Squadmate said to me later, “I have reached the point in my life where I don’t care. If something seems off to me, I engage into protect/intervene mode. I don’t care how it makes the other party feel, and I’m damn sure not going to beat myself up for erring on the side of caution. My crew is much more important than someone else’s feelings for sure.”
Any time a person is staring at a kid not related to them, you have permission to intervene. I did it with just Presence.
Let me explain the werewolf. It’s a mindset, looking human but with a predator ready to come out.
A SWAT officer coined the term here. I’ll quote him (warning: language): It is much easier to start at lethal force and downshift into officer friendly. This is what I have called being a Werewolf in previous blogs. What I mean by this is adapting that predator mindset and not only assuming that lethal force will be necessary but actively stacking the deck to be able to use lethal force efficiently. This naturally elevates your level of awareness, and sends off subconscious “not to be fucked with vibes.”
I can always apologize if there’s a misunderstanding. But, if anything had happened and I didn’t intervene, I would have never forgiven myself.
You have to possess the capacity along with the capability. Telling someone “No” without being able to back it up is just begging.